My Hidden Season

It’s been a while…

Hi!

I’ve been trying to write this blog post to you for the last few months. You haven’t received a post from me in a while because I’m in my hidden season.

Writing is my “hobby” and when I’m not writing for you – I’m writing for me.

Writing is not just a hobby and a passion. It’s part of my calling. My calling is the place where my soul feels settled. It’s the place where I learn something in my own life and take what I experienced and share it with you. It’s not only the learning, but also the sharing that completes the process for me. In my hidden season, I’m being inspired. I’m reading. I’m researching. I’m experiencing life.

Without experiencing life away from writing, there is nothing to write.

I have seasons of writing and seasons of living. I need to live to be inspired. To bring my inspiration into something tangible, lessons to be shared with you, I must wander. I must gather inspiration. I guess this is the cycle of creativity. This is also the way of peace.

Oh, and I also completely refurnished and decorated my therapy office (I’m in a new suite now). That’s an email for another time of what God did. Next time you see me, ask me and I’ll tell you the story. See below for a partial photo. (Head over to my social media, @andreaandersonpolk, for additional photos and a video :) I went for a feminine, warm, and inviting ambiance. A friend who saw it said, “I just want to sit and tell you my life story and all my secrets.” Yup. That’s the vibe I’m going for.

Anyway, back to my hidden season. I always know when my hidden season has arrived because my desire to write vanishes.

Poof, it’s gone.

I never put stuff out there just to put it out there. I must live it and feel it so you can feel it too. I want my writing to be personal and relatable. I want to inspire, not impress. To go deep, not wide.

Writing is a co-creation with the Holy Spirit. If I don’t feel Him with me that’s how I know my writing is ego-driven and not Spirit-driven. That’s a yucky feeling. It’s draining. It’s not life-giving. It’s saturated with comparison, pride, perfectionism, and being disconnected from myself.

Been there done that.

My part is to surrender to the Spirit’s creative work inside me not trying to speed it up. I’m enjoying the tempo of the Spirit and letting Him set the pace. I am making space to listen which brings the heart healing and soul-shifting transformations. This only happens when I am still and radically honest with myself. 

I used to fear the hidden seasons. However, I came to realize during these quieter times in my life is often when the most profound and human work of all is being completed. It’s about the invisible not the visible, you know? I’m continually silencing the nagging voice of all I believe I “should be” doing. Now I am thankful for the nothing big, important, or special seems to be happening type of days.

All to say, I’m excited about what I’m learning and experiencing. I don’t know about you, but when I am growing and being convicted in a particular area of my life it seems as though Jesus speaks in unexpected ways to reinforce the same message over and over. That way I undoubtedly know it’s Him. I experience something greater than myself. The process is awe-inspiring.

There’s an intimacy with Jesus that I cherish in my hidden season. What is birthed from my hidden season is an unshakable self-confidence and unwavering faith in Jesus that apart from Him I can do nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, I have moments where I feel a self-inflicted pressure to be seen. Like when I’m tempted to show up for you here and prematurely start sharing. Insert yuck. As you can see, I’ve resisted this temptation because I haven’t shared any new blog posts with you in 2024 until now.

I prefer to pop on here with words that are in alignment with my calling and not because I need external validation or recognition. Writing only works for me when it comes from wisdom within. All I need is my journal, Jesus, and you. I receive so much feedback from all of you. It is about relationship. It always feels FUN.

To be fully transparent, I am glad my book promoting and PR season is over. The content for my book all came together because I had been studying, practicing, and teaching about the topics covered inside for a decade. I sat down to write only if I was moved to do so. Because of inspiration gained both personally and professionally. The words poured out. Then one day, suddenly, I realized I had completed a manuscript. Then one day, suddenly, years after that, I met someone unexpectedly who said they wanted to publish it.

The doors that are meant for you will open. You don't have to rush through and force them. The opportunities that are behind them need you and want you just as much as you need and want them. It's all about timing. Divine Timing.

The truth is, I don’t care about being a famous author. I care about being a happy writer. And what makes me happy is reaching a handful of people that tell me it’s as if my words were written just for them. That for the first time in their life, they have language for what they couldn’t quite put their finger on.

The book was birthed in a hidden season, but that season has passed, more like expired. So, it’s time to be newly inspired. Which means you haven’t heard from me in a while.

I am very excited about the things that are inspiring me right now and I can’t wait to share them with you at some point. I’ve got a stack of books I’m reading, topics I’m researching, and experts I’m consulting. All because I’ve been working through these things in my own life.

When the time is right, these things may become another book, a devotional, a video series, a podcast, or more blog posts to you like this. Whatever the thing may be, I’ll be in a blissful flow.

To give you a taste of one of the many things…I’m learning about the science behind why boundaries are so important, how a people - pleasing personality negatively affects our body, and why trusting our gut it is essential to our health. How saying no and feeling repressed anger helps prevent prolonged stress that can cause cancer, chronic pain, and other diseases. How the nature of stress is not necessarily extreme external factors like getting fired, money loss, or death -it’s actually the internal stress of constantly having to adjust oneself to others. I love when science aligns with scripture which validates my convictions which confirms my difficult decisions. I feel like a total nerd as I’m typing this.

Hmmm, what else…

I’ll probably begin with the thing that feels like it contains the most gravity which is the identity crisis I had a few years ago. At some point I’ll share that story with you. I feel compelled to. Remember the must-share-my-experience-with-others-in-order-to-complete-it calling I spoke about earlier? This is my favorite one to share. During that time, I scared myself. But then I reinvented my myself. I redefined what success looks like for me. Life post- identity crisis these days is characterized by 90% peace and happiness (10% leeway because sometimes life throws unexpected curve balls).

Speaking of peace, that’s another thing I’ll be sharing with you eventually. My entire life is set up to protect my peace. No matter what. It’s my new way of being. I’ve been able to live this way because I wholeheartedly figured out who I am and what I want. More to come on the intense, inner work it took to get here.

In the meantime, I’m experiencing life and being inspired. I’m also grieving the end of the colder months since spring arrived (I know, I’m weird). I’m spending time with my people. I’m savoring the little things. I’m surrounded by notepads. I’m reexamining my relationship with ambition. I’m protecting my peace. I’m enjoying speaking at women’s gatherings because they light up my soul.  My psychotherapy practice is flourishing and soul enriching as always.

My husband continually surprises me with joy. And every time I look at him – I’m like, oh yeah, if God can suddenly bring me you, He can do aaaaaanything. I mean, hello, I waited so long for a great love.

I'm sensing that another upcoming thing I want to share with you is how God moves suddenly. As you can see from this post, it's been a pattern in my life. Lots to say about this.

I’m allowing the hiddenness of this season to run its course and fully enjoy it because BAM! once it’s time to write, my ambition will kick in and I’m instantly transported to the obsession. I let my passion become an obsession. Then life will come back to beckon me again. And so, the cycle of creativity continues.

I’m not sure when you’ll hear from me next. I don’t pretend to know. There are no three words more freeing to me right now than: I don’t know. That’s the beauty of it. That’s the adventure of this hidden season.

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P.S. I encourage you to wait for the deeper knowing. To listen for the gentle whisper within telling you not yet. To stop forcing something when it's not inspiring or exciting you. If you're in dread - take a time out. Even if you told others about it, don't be embarrassed to change your mind. Well, what will they think? Who cares! Be honest if you've lost motivation. All for the purpose of believing that in due time it will come back in freedom and flow. Wait for it to be fun. To wake up really excited again.

P.S.S. I thought it appropriate to place this post in the blog category on my website, "Things I'm Loving + Learning" because I want to continue to share with you what I'm learning in my own life personally.