The Dream I Forgot I Prayed For

As a therapist—and a human being—who’s a recovering (and sometimes relapsing) control-freak-perfectionist, many of my writings keep returning to the themes of ambition and redefining success.

A Truth I Keep Circling Back To

Lately, I keep circling around a certain truth, and I want to share it—I hope it will encourage you, too:

You can have big dreams for the future and still be completely content in the present.

And they can flip-flop, because life is unpredictable, messy, and complicated.

Being content right now doesn’t mean you’ve given up on success. Just like dreaming big doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful for the simple beauty of everyday life.

The Extraordinary in the Ordinary

Here’s what I’ve realized: You can’t fully value or cherish the extraordinary without the ordinary.

The more I begin to see the ordinary as holy and sacred, the less I spend my life waiting around for something extraordinary to happen.

When my days are filled with simple joys and ordinary moments, I don’t have to hinge my hope and happiness on big milestones. They’ll come when they come, in God’s perfect timing.

And I want to be present enough to enjoy them when they do. Otherwise—what’s the point?

When Ambition Shows Up

And yet, even with that truth in mind, I can still fall into old habits. That’s usually when I shift into full-on Ambitious Andrea mode.

So when she starts getting hyper-focused on achievement, the solution isn’t always to push harder, dream bigger, or get more serious.

Sometimes, the answer is to dream a little smaller, too.

Balancing Dreams and Daily Life

I can be tempted to lose sight of the joys of ordinary everyday life. Sometimes I even convince myself they’re not enough. Or maybe even I’m not enough.

But when I pause long enough to notice, I remember—ordinary life is more than enough in ways that truly matter.

And in some ways, maybe it isn’t—at least not in every season.

But my joy and peace seem to live in the balance:

Big and small.Complicated and simple.

Ordinary and extraordinary.

I embrace the gift of the day right in front of me while stepping into the magnificent future I’ve imagined for myself.

I must remember that I’m already living my dream.

When I stop to reflect, I see it clearly: I am standing in what I once prayed for.

Success isn’t just about what’s next—it’s about being present enough to appreciate what’s now.

Slow down enough to enjoy the life you used to only dream about.

And still, as “big” as this life once seemed to a younger version of me, I’m in the ordinary every single day.

Punctuated between the mundane are the milestone moments—but most of it is simple and quiet.

It all matters—the big dreams and the small ones.

What Ambition Looks Like in the Everyday

The sacred every day—my morning quiet time ritual sipping matcha tea, therapy sessions with courageous women, the joy of putting together fun outfits, researching and writing about what inspires me, and coming home to my husband and best friend who’s always happy to see me.

And my ambitions for the future matter, too. These include all the dreams I’ve already brought to life—and the ones I’m still dreaming.

Maybe you’re dreaming of things like this:

• Getting on bestseller lists

• Landing that promotion

• Raising kind, emotionally intelligent children

• Healing generational patterns

• Creating financial freedom

• Building your dream home

• Becoming more confident in your own skin

• Starting a second career

• Letting your art take up space in the world

• Living a life that feels slow, rich, and deeply yours

Lessons I Keep Relearning

Here's what’s been unfolding for me over these past few weeks… (and let’s be real, it’s a lesson I keep relearning):

Yes, I have big ambitions.

Yes, I want to succeed beyond my wildest imagination.

But it only works if I stay content and keep it rooted in the beautiful everyday:

• The daily runs that keep me sane and healthy

• The stay-at-home-in-my-cozy-clothes days

• Errands with Dan

• Daily devotion to writing in my gratitude journal

• Unscheduled time set aside for simply being, without having to justify it

• Pouring into passions that don’t need to be monetized or optimized

None of these are small.

And the more we embrace them, the more we realize: These might be the biggest dreams of all.

The Real Reward

That’s how ambition can coexist with real, ordinary life. It’s not about choosing one over the other—it’s about holding both.

And suddenly, the in-between moments won’t seem like second best.It’ll feel like the entire reward. And that’s not second best—it’s everything.

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P.S. I wrote this email in my robe, with matcha on my desk, and two tabs open googling “should I get bangs again?” and “how polyvagal states show up in high-functioning people.”

So… if you’re feeling a little pulled in two directions right now, I’m right there with you.

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Need help dealing with perfectionism, finding balance, and control issues, or with any of these concepts above? Get in touch to request a therapy appointment.